Sadly, this means that when a lot of plus size individuals are approached by conventionally “good-looking” counterparts — both in real life and on-screen — it can be difficult to believe that the attraction is legitimate. From my experiences, I know that compliments from a potential S.O. are often regarded with suspicion. But I also know that this self-hatred and doubt are toxic to any relationship, and especially the relationship you hold with yourself. My conventionally hot husband taught me this.

The first few months of dating this handsome man were filled with insecurity and doubt on my part. This guy was gorgeous — not just by my standards, but by society’s — and I couldn’t help but question his motives.What was he doing asking me out? Was he just experimenting with a big girl? Was this like that movie thing where the hot guy asks out the “pig” as some kind of cruel joke? I wanted to believe that I was “on his level,” that the interest wasreally there. But doubts implanted in my psyche by our culture would creep in, destroying any confidence I felt.